A bad comedy gone wrong

I spent 12 hours in a classroom yesterday to get my CCW permit. Over and over, it was drilled into us, you can’t go shooting people over property, insults, or because you don’t like someone.
And here is President Obama saying he’s going to go after North Korea for hacking Sony Entertainment and threatening movie theaters that show a banal “comedy” about the assassination of North Korea’s boy leader.
I’m sorry, but I don’t think any of this is funny for a litany of reasons.
First- the hack. Since when is it the Federal government’s responsibility to protect the computers of an entertainment company? How is this any different than the multiple hacks that have stolen our personal information from the likes of Target or Home Depot? Because supposedly the hack came from North Korea? Is Obama channeling George W. Bush, who attacked Afghanistan for the work of 21 Saudi Nationals on 9/11?
Code knows no national boundaries- and with the simplicity of anonymizing servers- can be sent from anywhere to anywhere. Because someone used the same lines of code is hardly a smoking gun- I use the same words you do to say “I have to go to the bathroom.”
And after Edward Snowden released the vast evidence of our ability to read, analyze and filter the masses of communications all over the planet- do you really expect me to believe the NSA was asleep at the wheel when both the hack and the threat supposedly came from North Korea? Really? Because so much Internet traffic comes in and out of that walled cesspool of a country.
Then there is the “threat” to do damage to the theaters that show the film. Let’s see, trillions spent on “Homeland Security” and our military- and we’re really going to believe that if this film is shown- the North Koreans are going to nuke us?
Granted, any head of state who thinks anything worthwhile comes out of meeting Dennis Rodman isn’t exactly the sharpest crayon in the box- but, there are probably 4,000 theaters that may show this film- and he’s going to target them all? Or even one? With the telegraphed threat, the probability of success is zero.
And, really, poking the bear usually never works out well for little kimmy.
There have been movies made about dictators, kidnapping presidents, killing heads of state since, well, the early ages of film. Comedies- like Charlie Chaplin’s “The Great Dictator” didn’t start WWII- and the recent Hollywood action flick “Olympus has fallen” had the North Koreans attacking the White House- where were the complaints that time?
Although the hack did a bunch of damage to Sony Entertainment- let’s be realistic- that hack did more damage to the hacks that run the company who embarrassed themselves much worse than our State Department did with crass and irresponsible statements released by Snowden.
And although Sony Entertainment is “American” it’s still owned by Sony- a Japanese company- why isn’t North Korea taking on the Japanese? Maybe it’s the fact that when the Japanese went to war there they dominated- while we stalemated..
You know that every Hollywood action film has to have two things- a good guy and a bad guy- the fact that North Korea has served as our “bad guy” for almost 70 years is getting a little old. Hell, we just decided to take Cuba out of the doghouse into the yard. They’re not quite invited in – but it’s a step in the right direction.
With the way our media is manipulated and despite access to more information than ever before- I’m half wondering if the “threat” to theaters showing “The Interview” isn’t just another Hollywood marketing department run amok. Remember how Boston shut down in 2007 in a panic over “space invader signs” that mysteriously appeared as a promo for another banal comedy?
If this was what happened, would anyone be able to wipe the egg off their faces?
If we really want to torture the North Korean leadership- print enough DVDs of the movie dubbed in Korean- and carpet bomb the country with them. Seth Rogan’s bomb of a movie can torture them instead of us.
And honestly, not showing this movie in America is probably an underappreciated Christmas gift to all of us.

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