1:30 am this morning.
Are you “John Doe”? (names changed to protect the innocent)
Because the guy who walked into our house and promptly fell on his face, was sure John Doe lived here. Meet
Rauel Raoul Edgardo Morles Caraballo- https://mont.miamivalleyjails.org/JAILBOOKING.ASPX… 
Anyone know him- other than John Doe?
His Diet Doctor Pepper had landed on the cold air return, and he landed himself a ride in the back of a cruiser.
George, (my dog) had started barking up a storm- outside- something he never does.
Then, a mighty boom- as if my roommate had fallen, disturbed my much needed beauty sleep-
Coming downstairs, shorts on, phone in hand- there is a guy who wasn’t quite sure of who he was, or where he was, lying on the floor with my housemate, Mark Andrew Reuter standing over him asking him questions-
Mystery man couldn’t quite coordinate his motor functions and was trying to stand/sit/speak like he was drunk/high/wasted as I called Dayton’s finest to come make sure he didn’t pass his expiration date on my floor.
They were here in under 4 minutes. Great job.
It wasn’t until he was in cuffs and standing that my nose smelt the walking brewery that was our uninvited guest- along with the 3 officers who came to chauffeur him to his next party stop.
He was really positive John Doe lived next door- but, since we live in Historic South Park – where neighbors become friends, we know that there is no John Doe or Jan Doe or even Jon Deux that lives on this block. (The detective told me this morning that there might be a John Doe who lives in the double rental on the corner- 2 visits to their door this morning got zero response).
He wasn’t aggressive, and had no clue what the cop was talking about when he said “these men could have shot you” (way too messy- and too much explaining to do).
If I hadn’t been using my phone to call 911- (and if I wasn’t so damn tired) I should have video recorded the whole thing- because it would have made an excellent PSA-
This is the friend of John Doe-
This is the friend of John Doe on substances-
This is why you should stay sober….
And why our front door should have been locked with the deadbolt…
And not wake David up in the middle of the night…
He was booked on burglary charges. That got him into custody (but I can’t say that the Montgomery County Jail is actually safe ) We didn’t ask to press charges, and we just hope he gets some help.
My life is never boring. Who else does this kind of bizarre stuff happen to?
And, just as an FYI- the email notification didn’t go out on the last post. You are invited Tuesday to the Sunshine Law Smackdown . See the link to read the post.