1:30 am this morning.
Are you “John Doe”? (names changed to protect the innocent)
[1]Rauel Raoul Edgardo Morles Caraballo, the uninvited drunk.
Because the guy who walked into our house and promptly fell on his face, was sure John Doe lived here. Meet Rauel Raoul Edgardo Morles Caraballo- https://mont.miamivalleyjails.org/JAILBOOKING.ASPX… [2]
Anyone know him- other than John Doe?
His Diet Doctor Pepper had landed on the cold air return, and he landed himself a ride in the back of a cruiser.
George, (my dog) had started barking up a storm- outside- something he never does.
Then, a mighty boom- as if my roommate had fallen, disturbed my much needed beauty sleep-
Coming downstairs, shorts on, phone in hand- there is a guy who wasn’t quite sure of who he was, or where he was, lying on the floor with my housemate, Mark Andrew Reuter standing over him asking him questions-
Mystery man couldn’t quite coordinate his motor functions and was trying to stand/sit/speak like he was drunk/high/wasted as I called Dayton’s finest to come make sure he didn’t pass his expiration date on my floor.
They were here in under 4 minutes. Great job.
It wasn’t until he was in cuffs and standing that my nose smelt the walking brewery that was our uninvited guest- along with the 3 officers who came to chauffeur him to his next party stop.
He was really positive John Doe lived next door- but, since we live in Historic South Park [3]– where neighbors become friends, we know that there is no John Doe or Jan Doe or even Jon Deux that lives on this block. (The detective told me this morning that there might be a John Doe who lives in the double rental on the corner- 2 visits to their door this morning got zero response).
He wasn’t aggressive, and had no clue what the cop was talking about when he said “these men could have shot you” (way too messy- and too much explaining to do).
If I hadn’t been using my phone to call 911- (and if I wasn’t so damn tired) I should have video recorded the whole thing- because it would have made an excellent PSA-
This is the friend of John Doe-
This is the friend of John Doe on substances-
This is why you should stay sober….
And why our front door should have been locked with the deadbolt…
And not wake David up in the middle of the night…
He was booked on burglary charges. That got him into custody (but I can’t say that the Montgomery County Jail is actually safe [4]) We didn’t ask to press charges, and we just hope he gets some help.
My life is never boring. Who else does this kind of bizarre stuff happen to?
And, just as an FYI- the email notification didn’t go out on the last post. You are invited Tuesday to the Sunshine Law Smackdown [5]. See the link to read the post.
Moments like this are why everyone needs a basement with a deep pit in one corner.
“It rubs the lotion on it’s skin, or else it gets the hose again”
Someone who’s not you (and I know who) must have forgotten to put the standard security in place. Boo!! Glad you’re ok.
…dog barking
Open door.
Raoul lying
On the floor.
Reach for trusty
.44
No Raoul
No more…
@ice- and then I have to find a new carpet pattern, since they don’t make a black and white berber anymore…
decisions like that- way too hard.
Did the Ol’ Bandito used to write for Burma Shave? :)
Glad you’re OK, David!! And stories like this really make me miss living in the City of Dayton. LOL!
Burglary? I am not a professional, but it sounds like trespass and not burglary. I thought one has to commit a crime inside the home once entered.
You should’ve lock your door if you don’t want random drunks to stumble in I bet you didn’t mention that detail also why the cops u could’ve just called an ambulance if you thought he was gunna die on your floor
Dudes he was drunk … mistook your house it’s on his Uber recite … he didn’t steal anything and all he did was pass out on your living room floor ..weren’t you ever in collage ??
Lock the door next time, problem solved. Getting into a house by mistake when you’re extremely drunk doesn’t sound like an impossible thing to happen. Could’ve avoid the whole situation by being responsible or simply using common sense, glad you’re ok and nothing major happened. :)
David, the story is all fine and well, but why do you have to list the friend’s full name and tell everyone where he lives?
That’s just an unnecessary detail that needlessly exposes personal information about someone who didn’t do anything to you. The friend of this guy didn’t have any control over what the drunk guy did, and now he’s been wronged in a way that is at least somewhat comparable to how you were wronged. Does that make any sense?
It’s one thing to list the perp’s name, that’s fine, but why the friend? Doing that makes you sound a lot less like a reasonable person and a lot more like Gladys Kravitz. I’m always amazed that you’re able to take stories like this – ones where you are legitimately the victim of something – and yet somehow you still manage to do something to make yourself the jerk. Why, man? You could have just used a little discretion out of respect for that person’s privacy and then you’d be 100% in the right. It’s like you can’t resist being reprehensible.
@Paul D. – do you remember where Dan Rather’s career went south? “What’s the Frequency Kenneth?” https://www.nytimes.com/1997/01/30/nyregion/belatedly-the-riddle-of-an-attack-on-rather-is-solved.html
Should I have made up a random name? What if I’d put your name accidentally?
Sticking to the facts works.
Being drunk is no reason to get a hall pass.
And, the door was locked- just not with the deadbolt- which is keyed both sides because we have a window in the door (break window, flip thumb lock- in- no) and we were home and the alarm was off- and the dog was on.
His drunkeness shouldn’t have been on our porch.
Turns out John Doe does live on the street- in the rental on the corner. That house doesn’t look like ours-
And the house number isn’t similar.
And, there is more to the story- Mr. Caraballo apparently just won a major settlement. He’d sold all his possessions- and was heading to Thailand on Monday- to drink himself to death- according to Mr. Cox.
Had he entered a different house on my block- they might have helped him save his plane fare.
Why are people quick to defend a drunk?
And- you don’t call an ambulance in Dayton- you call 911- and they determine what to send.
I don’t think he was just drunk- I’ve dated enough drunks- this wasn’t just alcohol.
Forgive me for not shooting him.
Next time I will bring the gun- point it at him and see if he can figure out how to get out of the house faster than he got in the bottle.
David, hold up, man. I’m not attacking you at all for being upset or disturbed by the drunk guy and his barging into your house. The drunk guy was wrong. No doubt about it. Why are you pretending that I was defending the drunk guy? Everyone can read what I said, and so can you. You’re moving the goalposts.
I am saying that the details of your neighbor John’s full name and the location of his house are completely unnecessary. The only thing they accomplish is vilifying him, despite that he did not do anything wrong in this situation. This guy Shawn had no control over what his friend did. Why put HIM on blast? Can you address that, instead of pretending I’m talking about something totally different so that it’s easier to defend yourself?
We all have friends who drink too much and act terribly. Thank goodness that we aren’t all publicly embarrassed and called out by name whenever one of our friends does something stupid or against the law. Otherwise, me and you both would likely have our names blasted up on some asshole’s blog, wouldn’t we?
I should have mentioned this in the previous comment. You used your neighbor John’s name a total of 10 times in this article. But the drunk guy who barged into your house like an idiot and scared the hell out of you and your family? You used his name only twice.
That is a quantitative fact, dude. And it makes zero sense. Somebody reading this is so much more likely to walk away remembering (negatively) the name of a person who did nothing wrong than the name of the guy who busted into your house.
Dude is your life that pathetic that you have to blast him on your blog? … if it bothered you that much you could’ve hit him or restrain him instead of this calling the cops to take him away then go up to your room to write about it … thats what middle school girls do
Name changed to protect the innocent. John Doe. Happy now.
Hopefully Raoul has already drunk himself to death in Thailand so we can move on to more important things.
Good thing the cops showed up in 4 minutes and Raoul wasn’t an asshole drunk like my x-girlfriends…
Honestly, David, yes I am. I think that is a really respectable and grown-up choice that you just made. Well done, man. We don’t always agree on things (rarely, actually) but I admire that you just did that.
Damn. I think you’re just jealous that he’s better looking than you.
Hey B. Dole- everyone is better looking than me.